I love listening/reading people's stories and taking little bits and pieces of what has helped them with grief and apply to my life. I want to share a little snapshot of my story, where I'm at right now with grief, and what has helped me along the way!! 

 In 2020, a few months after the whole world shut down my dad was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, glioblastoma. I was sitting in the Kroger parking lot when I googled glioblastoma and the first thing that pops up is “ aggressive brain tumor, life expectancy 12 months.”  Talk about your world turning upside down with one google search!! You will never be prepared to watch your dad slowly not be themselves anymore. We were truly in fight or flight mode for the last months of his life never knowing if the next phone call or hug would be the last. 

Holidays and celebrations were hard, always soaking in every last second while also making sure he felt loved knowing he wouldn't be at the next one. It's been almost two years and the celebrations haven't gotten easier.

For me, the sadness isn't as overwhelming but with every bit of Joy a little sadness always creeps in. I've learned that it's okay that the joy and sadness coexist and they don't have to cancel each other out. 

Summer is filled with lots of vacations, parties, and celebrations which means navigating the sadness is a little more often. I want to live a full life, filled with lots of highs and fun and adventure but I know that in my grief that a high can often be followed by a low. The biggest thing that has helped me with this is simply being aware of it and preparing for it! I recently went on a cruise and when I came back I fell right into what I call a “funk bubble” where you just feel off and sad. It took me a hot second to pop it!!

A few weeks later I had a quick weekend beach trip and I started getting really anxious because I didn't want to fall back to where I was the last time I went on a trip. Instead of just not going, I promised myself I would stick to habits that kept my mind strong. I stuck to 3 things, I got up early and walked on the beach, did a little meditation/quiet time and no sugary drinks. You're probably thinking WOW that's so fun on vacation ( insert eye roll emoji) hehe BUT choosing myself made me better and have more fun knowing I was taking care of myself for the long haul. 

I am not a therapist, counselor or doctor. I'm just a girl who went through some traumatic events and instead of letting my feelings define me, have found ways to pursue a full life. I am far from figuring it all out and grief looks SO SO different for each person but if one sentence helps one person, i've done my job. I want to elaborate on a few things that I have implemented that have helped me! 

Rhythms 

I heard Jess Connolly use the word rhythms instead of routine and I've never looked back. She has lots of resources on planning and rhythms if you are looking for content like that! Rhythms are things you dont schedule, they are things you do in your everyday life that fill your cup and make you, you! That could be a little lunch rhythm where you walk to your nearest market and grab something to eat and listen to a podcast or every morning you get on the floor and play with your puppies before your workout because that makes you feel loved.

It's so easy to just get caught in the mundane of life and everything on your to-do list that creates little rhythms throughout your day are slowly filling your cup up. My favorite rhythm is when I get home from my workouts in the morning I throw on worship music, grab a coffee and go for a walk before I need to come home and start my day. Sometimes I only have 5 minutes but that 5 minutes is everything. I look forward to it every day, which brings me to my next point!!!

Create moments to look forward to

Grief can have you focused on your past and future a lot but staying present to the right now is key. Look for a new restaurant to go to, go to the farmers market and try a new jam, schedule that trip you've always wanted to go on, go on a day trip in your own city, buy a birthday cake when it's not your birthday!!! I think people call this “romanticizing your life” and I strive to do more of this everyday! It's easy to say all of this but make it obtainable and do one thing a week! 

Taking Care of your body

The highest form of self care is taking care of yourself from the inside out. My whole life the only time I moved my body or ate veggies was to make it smaller. I did not understand the people who did it because it made them feel good. This has been the first year of moving my body because it makes my mind stronger and makes me feel my best self! I feel like this is a journey I'm still on so I'm going to leave it at that but this could be a whole other blog!

It's okay to not be okay, give yourself the most grace!  You're not the same as you once were and that's okay! You're getting to know the person you are that has experienced great loss. Be kind to yourself. It took me a month to not be in shock and actually cry, I literally thought something was wrong with me. If I could go back and tell myself anything it would be to stop trying to go back to everything being normal and it's okay to be around people and not be okay, they're still going to love you!

I would love to do more blogs like this so if this resonated with you in any way please reach out and I would love to chat! Grief is so different for everyone, but having support and community is so important. Love you guys.